The scales lie!

Yesterday was my weigh-in at ww. The first time(2 weeks ago), I weigh-in on the digital scale, last time the old school scale and this time the digital one again. I was told last week after weigh-in that I should stick to the same one.. But they already marked it, so I just kept it. This time the "skinny chick" said, "Oh, I always use the digital one... It goes to the ounce..Where the old school one wouldn't show a loss, the digital one does" Me I thought, "Cool, the more help the better!" YEAH, that was before I got on the scale and wanted to kick the skinny chick. My husband stood proudly waiting for her to write down the 4 lb loss, making sure I saw the accomplishment. I next got on and about cried. I loss .5 of a pound! Just Thursday of last week I weighed my self at home and it said 166.5 I was tickled-- yesterday I got on and it said 169.5 !! OMGOSH I loss 3.5lbs then gained 3lbs? OVER THE WEEKEND? I sat in stunned silence as my husband said, "loss 4 lbs, only 4lbs" grinning at me. I have to admit that I was ticked off! I thought and regrettably said "your the one that eats ice cream sandwiches EVERY night and I gain weight?" I should not have felt and acted like that... I should have been and am proud of him and his loss... But the "flesh" came out and was jealous, mad, and ready to say "well this is not worth it!" I felt it all.. The disappointment, the "man I knew I should have worked out at night too", the blame game thing, and the "here I fought the M & M craving for two weeks when I could have eaten a lb bag with the same results!" I was hurt. Isn't that stupid? I was hurt that I worked for something and it didn't happen the way I thought it should, I was hurt that my husband was rubbing it in and saying things like "hmmm must be eating more than what your saying" when I know I have been xtra careful, I was hurt that I instantly felt like saying "I give". Me.....
I went home last night got on my scale at home and wanted to cry again... It was true. I did lose and gain. I dreaded and put off coming on here,changing my meter thing..... Knowing I have to be honest.
You know....... I think about how I felt last night, my actions, reactions and am more disappointed in them than I am in the weight thing. Isn't that so like us? To get instantly mad when something you think you deserve doesn't happen the way YOU think it should? In everything else of my life.... I have said, whatever YOU want Lord..... Yet I am not saying that with this?? Is it about losing weight? Is it by "our works"? How many times do we hear in the Word about "not by our works alone?" Is He showing me something about my character? Or there lack of? I am sure that He is giving me another "behind the shed whoopin" for my selfishness.
I apologized to my husband for "thinking" what I thought and for reacting the way I reacted.

"Lord, I apologize to YOU ... I should not have let those thoughts, anger, and jealousy be a part of me, even if for a minute! I again , humbly come before YOUR throne, saying "YOur will be done"......... I will continue to do what I know what you want me to do... Eat healthy, exercise and dive into your Word. For when I am weak YOU are strong! Thank you Lord for being all that I need. I will not allow a scale to tell me who I am in You. Thank you for my wakeup call. I praise you for caring for me enough to show me my faults and build me right back up.~~ Amen"

This morning I was back up early... Doing my exercise tapes, eating what I should eat, and fighting the good fight of Faith.

Now I will go back and fix my chart thing........ :-(