Too funny not to post!! hehe

Dog's diary vs a Cat's diary

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
 
8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
 
9:30 a.m. Wow! A car ride! This is a blast!
 
9:40 a.m.  Got to go to the park! Rolled in some really nasty stuff, was so proud of myself.  Humans were less than impressed.

10:30 a.m. Got my tummy rubbed and petted -- I'm in love!

12:00 p.m. Lunch: yummy!
 
1:00 p.m. Played in the yard:  I loved it!
 
3:00 p.m. Stared adoringly at my masters ... they're the best!
 
4:00 p.m. Hooray! The kids got home! I was so happy I was bouncing off the walls!

5:00 p.m. Milkbones -- awesome!

7:00 p.m. Got to play ball!  What a day, this was too good to be true!
 
8:00 p.m. Wow: watching TV with my master!   Heavenly!

 
 
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
 
Day 683 of My Captivity:
 
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.  The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ''good little hunter'' I am. The audacity!!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.  However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow-- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released--and he seems more than willing to return! He is obviously retarded.  The bird has got to be an
informant-- I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe-- for now.  But I can wait.

It is only a matter of time...